Compatibility vs Chemistry by Natacha Noël, Matchmaker

As a matchmaker, I am continuously explaining the difference between “compatibility” and “chemistry” to my clients. Although they both start with the letter “C” and end with the letter “Y,” they are diametrically opposed and should not be mistaken for one another. Gentlemen can be smitten by a woman’s beauty and sex appeal. Women may be wowed and feel they have experienced love at first sight. Some say they have never experienced such a feeling but others tell me they have been experienced this exhilarating feeling many times and wish to break the cycle indefinitely without having to compromise on looks and overall physical attraction.

Absolute Matchmaking Success Tip #1: Beware of fireworks: they will not be enough if what you ultimately seek is a long-term relationship or marriage.

Some of my clients share with me that they are tired of dating the wrong people. In my practice, I screen men and women for, among many other qualities, sincerity. I also look for core values and compatibility factors that will give a relationship a strong foundation for growth. So, during a matchmaking consultation, two of the questions I typically ask are the following: What are your relationship goals? What do you look for in a partner? We will create a list of your Absolute Match Criteria (including core values, character traits, lifestyle, children, habits, revenue, education, traditions and faith) and a list of Absolute Negotiable Match Criteria. By the time we get to the physical aspects, the same thing will be done: you will be asked for your Absolute Physical Attributes and Negotiable Physical Attributes. We should be able to end up with a pretty thorough list of compatibility factors and “mother nature,” chemistry-related attributes that will arouse you sexually.

Why is it that the person who we first meet seems to be different a few months after we have met them? Were they misleading us or was it that we were too busy falling in love and could not really identify if we were, in fact, compatible with each other? There are three types of masks that one can wear on first dates: The Best Self Mask, The Vulnerable Self Mask and the False Self Mask. They will be the topic of my next conference next week. If you can’t attend, you can read about what I discussed right here on my blog next week.

Montrealers can join us on October 17, 2013 at L’Ambroisie, located at 4020 St-Ambroise, 6:00 pm-11:00 pm at Pickle Martini’s Networking event for singles. I will be joined by date coach Frank Kermit of the Montreal Times and we will be addressing that very topic during a one-hour talk. Marc Dumaine of Asana Coaching will also be a presenter that night. The event will be fantastic. Door prizes and many single men and women are expected to attend. The cost for the event is $30 but those of you who sign up for my newsletter athttp://www.absolutebachelorclub.com will get a promo discount code, which also gives you free access to next month’s event. Once you obtain your discount code from us, you can purchase your tickets here:

https://picklemartini.eventbrite.ca

Bilingualism is preferred, as the conferences will be held in French.

See you there!